I'm Middle Aged ... If I Live To Be 116

I've heard it said that life is too short to be taken seriously. I agree 100% with that ... but totally disagree with it at the same time. Just depends on how you look at it.

For example, I don't want to go through all of my life and then get to the end and realize I wasted all that I had been given, that I focused on the things that don't matter to the exclusion of the things that do. On the other hands, I don't want to be so totally focused on the task at hand that I forget to smell the roses, that I neglect to just enjoy what's around me. That, my friends, is what we call a conundrum ... or life.

As I'm getting older, I'm learning more to enjoy what's around me. I still like to say I'm middle-aged, but my oldest son (who is dangerously close to middle age himself) likes to point out that I probably won't live to be 116, so therefore, I can't be termed middle-aged. Whatever. I'd like to say that my oldest son is dumb, but that would really not be nice ... so I won't.

This brings me to another point in that tiny argument about age that I have with my son. The British  have concluded in a study that middle age begins at 55. Sounds about right. Makes me a little more forgiving about that big war that we fought for independence with them a couple of hundred years ago. But I think they're on to something.

We'll just say I'm a little older. That way no one gets hurt. A little older. Maybe a little wiser.

I can sit on the back porch with my husband at night and watch the sun set while we talk about our days, about our dreams, about our family, about our life together ... and not worry that the kitchen isn't totally cleaned or the laundry hasn't been folded yet.

My husband and I laugh about the texts that we send each other, because if we're not wearing our reading glasses, who knows what will wind up being sent. Old blurry eyes and fat fingers do not make for good texting results, but they definitely make for a lot of hilarious fun!

I can watch our grandchildren play and enjoy their creative minds and mischievous attitude ... without worrying about how dirty they're getting, or how much sugar they're consuming, or what other people might be thinking.

I can put on my make-up in the morning and know that there's only so much I can do without resorting to cosmetic surgery ... but still be semi-okay with the fact that I'm presentable, and my husband likes the way I look. Besides, my eyes don't work like they used to, and what I don't know won't hurt me, right?

I'm at the age where if I tell people I took a nap today, they don't question my productivity or my health. Of course I took a nap. That's what people my age do! I just want to apologize to my mother for fighting naps like I did as a child. You were right, Mom. Naps are incredible!

We watch sporting events, movies, go to the doctor's office, see a policeman working an accident and realize that every one of those people look like little children. They're all younger than we are -- and we just smile at each other because we know they're going to be in our shoes one day.

It's the little things that give me joy. Getting up out of a chair without making noise. Seeing the trees change color in the autumn. Being surrounded by our children and grandchildren, laughing and enjoying each other. Hiking a rough terrain without pulling any muscles. Smelling hot chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven. Getting a compliment on my super-cute shoes. Holding hands with the man I've loved so many years.

God has given me so much. I used to just focus on the big things -- like my salvation, or His incredible love for me. Those things are awesome! Mind-blowing, if you don't mind me using an old person term. I know I'll never not be thankful for those "big things" because they're what my eternal life is all about. But, I've learned to slow down, to smell the roses, to appreciate all of the little gifts that go together to make this beautiful life He's given me.

This middle-age season suits me pretty well.

He Is Like A Tree ...

"Blessed is the man 

who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

nor stands in the way of sinners,

nor sits in the seat of scoffers,

but his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on His law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree

planted by streams of water

that yields its fruit in its season,

and its leaf does not wither.

In all that he does, he prospers."

Psalm 1:1-3

My husband is in the tree and lawn business, but he particularly loves working with trees. So, he'll talk about them ... and I listen and learn. I find myself, when I read about trees in God's Word, perking up and drawing that in to the knowledge that my husband has taught me. So, this first psalm, as I'm beginning my study in the Psalms, immediately caught my attention.

Blessed ... happy is the man ... who what? The man who delights in the Word of God, who makes the Word of God a constant focus. The man who applies it., who studies it, who knows it. He's blessed because he knows the proper way to take. He doesn't veer off course and follow those who think they know the way, because he's following the One Who DOES know the way.

This same man, the one who delights in the Word of the Lord, is compared to a tree. The interesting part is that the word "planted" in verse 3 in the Hebrew is means to be transplanted. In other words, the tree was in one spot, and then moved to another. Transplanted. Just like me! I might think I'm in the optimal place. I've got all that my small mind thinks I need. I'm going along with my plans and my schedules ... and suddenly, I find myself uprooted! I'm taken out of my comfort zone and put where I truly need to be, where my roots will go deep. 

I imagine a tree sapling doesn't particularly like being transplanted. It can be traumatic, and on first view, it might appear that the tiny tree won't make it. But a master gardener knows the best place for this tree to be. He knows what kind of soil it needs to prosper. He knows where it will be the best for the proper amount of water. He knows how to give the tree the care it needs to thrive. And, even if the transplanting isn't particularly welcomed, the new tree will do well in the optimal environment. A tree with deep roots, planted by streams of water, will be nourished in the midst of drought. While a storm is raging, it's strengthened to be able to withstand.

A healthy tree will be fruitful. The interesting thing is that a tree yields its fruit in its season. An apple tree doesn't produces apples year round. A peach tree isn't constantly heavy with juicy, golden peaches on its limbs. Cherries only are evident in a certain season. And though the leaves might fall in the autumn due to the needed rest and protection from the harsh winters, spring is coming! That healthy tree will bud out and begin once more to produce.

So, what do I learn from this psalm on the tree?

More than anything, I need to trust that my Father in heaven knows what's best for me, and that His heart's desire is for me to have that best, regardless of the circumstances or "transplanting" going on around me. When I delight in God's Word and root myself in it, allow myself to be nourished, I too can withstand those certain times of drought and storm. Difficult periods of life are a certainty, but so is the ability to withstand those times if I'm rooted in Him and His Word.

And, like a tree, there will be seasons of fruitfulness and beauty, seasons of growth and production. Usually, those times will most often appear after a time of rest, maybe even after a time of darkness. One thing is certain. God doesn't waste the winter protection on the trees, and He doesn't waste the periods of darkness and repair for me either. Knowing Him, being in His Word -- it's life.

Spring always, always comes after the winter -- for the tree, and for me. Blessed is the man ... 

Life Gives No Guarantees ...

No one needs to tell us that this world is broken. We can look around and see it. We know it. We feel the sharp jagged edges of the brokenness all around us. None of us get through living in the midst of the splintered fragments without experiencing pain at some point in time. Because of that, we suffer.

Without thinking too hard, I can recall people who are:

• In a broken marriage, either through something as drastic as infidelity, or something as simple as self-centeredness. Whatever the case, there's a lot of grief, insecurity, confusion.
• Suffering from ailing, fragile bodies that just continue to not cooperate and break down even more quickly. How do I go through the day-to-day activities when my body wants to do its own thing?
• Walking the grievous road of infertility. What had been something that they thought would come so easily has been heartbreaking and tedious.
• Struggling with occupations. They're trying to make it work, but customers don't show up. Or equipment fails. Or there's always something that isn't right.
• Grieving because of a child that has made poor decision after poor decision, has walked away from the Lord and the family, and is living a dark and deceptive life.

To put it quite simply, our life isn't quite what we thought it would be. I don't know if we figured it would all be flowers and rainbows, that everything would come easily for us, that it would always be good, but sometimes we wind up in a dark place where we just want a guarantee that all will be like we want it to be. We want to be safe. We want to be comfortable. We want what we want.

There's no such guarantee. For this life anyway.

I'm still reading in Job. He's continuing to suffer (more than 32 chapters of suffering!!). Why? Haven't I done things right, Lord? Haven't I loved you and obeyed you? Haven't I done what You've asked of me? Why won't you fix my marriage/heal me/give me a baby/provide in my job/bring my prodigal home? And though we know God's right here with us, at times He seems strangely silent in the area where we are begging Him the most to work.

This is where the crossroads are, friend. This is where we have the decision to make. We can throw up our hands and figure God's not worth the trouble. After all, we've done our part, right? He's failed us. We can get angry. We can be defeated. We can give up. We can demand that He give us answers and explain Himself immediately.

And we'd be wrong. So very, very wrong. 

There are a few things we need to understand.

1. God is God, and we are not. Read Job, and you'll get an idea. We know He created the earth, but how? Can we even explain how it keeps working? He is great and mighty...and for us to even pretend for one moment why He does or doesn't do things is the epitome of arrogance and pride. And demanding Him to explain Himself when I don't like something He's doing is to pull Him down to my level.
2. Remember His goodness and His promises. What has He done for us? The cross. The resurrection. He came for us, to rescue us, to redeem us. Is there anything any better than that? Seriously?
3. Let go of what I'm holding on to more than Him. Anything else + Jesus = idol. Even things that are good gifts from Him can become idols that fill us with emptiness. Anything other than Him that we look to for us to be fulfilled is not enough. He's the only Enough that there is.
4. Our only guarantee in this life is Him. Fairness, happiness, a happily-ever-marriage, children, good health, jobs -- all are gifts that we long for. But God knows the gift that we need the most is Him. 

So, what do we do in this life? How do we live knowing that what we want so desperately is not guaranteed?

We keep our eyes on Him. We continue to get to know Him more and more. The more we know Him, the more we see His goodness, His trustworthiness. The more we know Him, the less we feel we have a right to have all the answers, to have control, to have that one other thing that we think we so desperately need. Maybe, just maybe, this area of our greatest pain is the area where He's showing us even more of Himself. He is who we need. He is our enough. He is better than our guarantee.

And for those of us that are His, we have this guarantee/promise in Him -- that someday, all that is broken will be restored. There's no guarantee of this in our life on earth, although sometimes God chooses to bless us in that way. He did with Job! But, even if He doesn't fix it all here in this lifetime, He will in our eternity. What is empty becomes filled. What is broken becomes whole. What is estranged becomes reconciled. What is barren becomes fertile. What is weak becomes strong. Why? Because it's Who He is.

Know it. Hold on to it. It will happen.

"Behold, I am making all things new." (Revelation 21:5)