Goliath Ain't Got Nothin'!

If you're anything like me, there are things from your past that often rise up. I was just dealing with this recently. An event from the past had been shoved in my face (by a calendar, of all things!).  All you need to know is that I was dealing with a huge attack of fear, of remembering the pain, of having details of the heart-wrenching hurt brought into clear focus.

My husband, who is a very wise man, was patient and loving with me. He reminded me of the fact that when I gave birth to each of our beautiful children, I left the pain of childbirth behind in the hospital. As each year rolls around, I don't remember the pain that I experienced. Instead, I focus on the beautiful baby (now amazing adult) that each of our children are. My focus. That was the secret. Where was I looking?

Then, I came to God and His Word. We started out with the way my husband had led me, and God took me even deeper. We came to the story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17. We see that Goliath, this huge giant of a man, came out every day from his Philistine tent and taunted the Israelite army before him. He was almost 10 feet tall and was a massive picture of strength and power. Before the Israelites ever began the battle, they were conquered by the thought of his might and strength. Immediately, I saw that my heartache of the past was just like that.  It had grown to giant-sized proportions and become a Goliath to me. Day in and day out, it would call to me. It was constant, unrelentless, And me? I was a cowering, trembling mess, just like those Israelite warriors. They were decked out in their armor, carrying their swords and shields in shaking hands. Oh, there were weapons, but they were uselessly hanging by their sides, chained to them by their fear. They knew they couldn't beat this crazy huge giant before them. It was impossible. And it was ... for them.

David knew however that he couldn't look at things like the Israelite army did. He couldn't see through the lens of the world. He knew where he needed to be looking. I'm the same way. When I look at the massive monster in front of me, if I'm looking at my own power, if I'm looking back to the pain that caused it, then it grows out of proportion to a size that will not allow me to conquer it. But, if I look through the lens of Christ, if I remember back to all the works of God and His hands, if I focus on Him, amazingly that giant before me begins to shrink.

The taunting, screaming words of the pain drop down to a whisper. The piercing heartache becomes a conquerable feeling. And that feeling? It is obvious that it is a lie. Why? Because my God, my I AM is bigger, more powerful, victorious than any giant of a monster out there.

David knew the secret. It was the name of his God that could conquer armies. David had seen deliverance in the past as he shepherded his father's sheep. A lion or a bear would attack the sheep, and David fought it, knowing that his God was fighting for him. Over and over and over again, David had been delivered. As I read, God reminded me of the ways He had delivered me. He had delivered me from the circumstances that caused such grief. He had delivered me from living in the midst of the fear and suffering. I had already been delivered.

To look back, after the deliverance, was just asking for a Goliath. And, sure enough, Goliath showed up. He didn't know it, but his defeat was imminent.

David put on the armor that Saul gave to him. He was going to fight a mighty warrior, and people said he needed the weaponry of the world. It didn't fit. It wouldn't work. It was actually more of a hindrance than a protection. So David took it off. He knew what he needed, and God had already supplied it. It had worked for David in the past with his lions and bears, and because he knew that His God was the One over it all, he knew it would work for him again now. A simple shepherd's sling. 5 smooth stones. And his eyes fixed firmly on his sovereign God.

Me? I had been delivered from the circumstances of the past. I had seen the miracles of God's hands and known of His rescue. The reminder of where I needed to be looking was strong. And what had worked for me in the past? God's precious Word. His phrases, His expressions, His tender mercies in black and white that had wiped away my tears. God's Spirit. His presence that whispered of His love and power to me. I visualized God's Spirit as the hand holding the sling. There was nothing that could conquer me, no giant too big for me with God's hand gripping the weapon.

The huge Goliath was felled with one small stone. It didn't matter how big he was. It didn't matter how many battles he had won before. The brutal words he spouted were of no account. His weapons of steel were powerless. He shrunk down in the presence of the Almighty God, and a rock between the eyes was all it took. When I look at my fears with God's eyes, when I see them as He does, the monster loses its teeth. The claws disappear. And the giant is reduced to nothing.

David wasn't content to just let the pebble do the work though. He knew that very often giants can be resurrected. Maybe the first strike will daze them, but they'll be back. There was to be a death. After God did the initial work with that little rock, David ran towards the big, scary creature lying on the field of battle. Again, David was fearless because he knew who the real Fighter and Warrior was. And, he grabbed the mighty sword of Goliath and cut off his head. Uh, yeah. Even a huge monstrous giant can't come back from that. He killed the fear of Israel.

God tells me to do the same thing. When I've looked through the lens of Christ, when I've had His hand flinging the stone of His Word, when the giant has fallen before me, the job is almost finished. Now, it's my turn. It's time to cut off the head of fear. Isn't it interesting that God has us deliver the final blow? He knows we need to be involved in this battle as well. I'm not to be just a cowering warrior while God fights for me and protects me. I am to be active, involved, fighting with Him when He shouts the call. And how do I do that? By declaring to Whom I belong! By shouting that my I AM is bigger, stronger, mightier and that He will be the victor. By roaring the promises of His Word. By looking with remembrance in the past and present to His deliverance. By trusting Him. By knowing Him. By actively taking those fearful thoughts captive and replacing them with the truth of His Spirit. Oh yes, God has given me all that I need to cut off the head of the writhing, defeated enemy.

And then? David took the armor of Goliath home with him. He took the bloody mess that had covered the giant facing him, and placed it in his tent. Why? To serve as a reminder of God's deliverance. To be a picture to him of what God had done. How can I do this same thing? By writing it down. Spelling it all out in black and white what God has taught me, shown me, delivered me. Telling others, just like I'm telling you now. If I were a painter, I could paint a picture.  If I were a carpenter, I could carve a reminder. If I were a mason, I could make a stone tower. Stack those stones and don't forget what God has done. Anything as a remembrance of what He has done..and then revisit it often!

David's triumph just reminds me of the victory I have in Jesus, the ultimate victor. Jesus has already won the greatest battle, and He whispers to me to hang in there, to keep fighting alongside Him, to look to Him as we journey through this life that is most often a great battleground. I've read the book. I know what happens on the last page of the story. Where am I looking? At the giant before me? At the pain of childbirth? Or the precious baby I'm holding? Goliath ain't got nothin'!

** An endnote: thank you to my incredible husband who listened to God's whisper and got this whole ball rolling. Happy birthday to us!

Write It Down

I've always been a note-taker. If I go to the grocery store, you can bet that I'll have my checklist with me. If I listen to sermons, I'm taking notes on what our pastor shares from God's Word. I've kept a journal since I was a young girl. In fact, you can pretty much find me every morning, sitting at my desk with a cup of tea, my Bible in front of me along with my notebook. God speaks to me from His Word, and I respond by writing back to Him. Yep, I like to write things down. There's just something about seeing the written word that cements something for me.

What an incredible blessing that has been! A few years back, I was going through a heart-wrenching experience. It was one of those circumstances where I was on my face before the Lord, praying and crying out to Him. Things weren't changing. Well, they WERE changing, but it wasn't for the better. Things seemed to pile up and pile up. It all looked to be so very much a situation without hope.

In the midst of all of this, God spoke to me faithfully from His Word. Oh, how I loved His Word (still do!). We'd spend hours together in the morning before I had to be at work, but God would speak tenderly to me, teaching me, correcting me, changing my heart, conquering the sin that lived within me. His Word was so very precious to me because it was just an extension of Him. Not just a book full of great stories. Not just a history book full of events. Not just a nice book with a happy ending. Not a self-help book. But a living, breathing Word for my every-day life, for my horrific situation, for my grieving heart. God showed up every single day for me through His Word.

He spoke to me. He spoke to me through His Word. He spoke to me through His Spirit.

And there were times that His Word would come to my mind during the day. I'd remember a Scripture passage that had meant so much … and see a different "angle" on it. I'd remember a story that hadn't made much sense, but had suddenly come in to focus. I'd have a thought that I KNEW wasn't from me. I was learning to recognize my Father's voice -- to be able to discern what was from Him, what was from the enemy, what was from me. All, I believe, because we spent so much time together in His Word.

One day, God told me to write down something He told me. Reluctantly, I did. Reluctantly because in the back of my mind, there was an incredible amount of doubt that it would actually happen. Remember, I was in the midst of a hopeless situation, surrounded by destruction and hostility. Did I really hear His voice? Did I hear Him correctly? But, I wrote it down. Dated it. Underlined it. Kept it where I could see it often so I could be reminded of His promise.

Not only did He tell me to write this all down, but He told me to share with two different people what He had told me. Gulp! Ok, writing it down was one thing because I was the only one who would see it. But tell other people?

Time marched on. Days went by. Weeks went by. Months went by. More than a year went by.  Even then, I constantly questioned whether I heard Him correctly. But I'd go again to what was written. I needed that reminder. I needed to see it in black and white, and not just leave the promise to my memory.

And one day … it happened. Just like He said it would, even down to the date! Not in the way I expected. Not even the way I would have wanted. But, it happened. Just like God had told me.

I know God had me write it down to help me during those discouraging moments, those times of doubt. He knows me. He knows my mind, my memory. He knows that I don't always hear Him correctly, that I don't do things perfectly. He knows that the enemy feeds me lies. He knows that my own intrusive thoughts question His faithfulness and goodness. So, because of that, I write. I've continued writing down what He teaches me, recording our time together, what He reveals.

One thing I know. God breathes His Word on me. It's spoken to me through His written Word. It's spoken to me through His Spirit. It's spoken to me through music, through other people. And I'm filling notebook after notebook of things that He has taught me -- notebooks that I can look through and remember the lesson, remember the word of encouragement, remember the deliverance, remember His love poured out on me. These are notebooks that I can use to minister to others, to pass along to others what God has done with me.

So, that's what we do. Our mornings together -- talking and writing, loving and breathing, learning and growing, falling deeper and deeper in love.

It's just what we do …