If you're anything like me, there are things from your past that often rise up. I was just dealing with this recently. An event from the past had been shoved in my face (by a calendar, of all things!). All you need to know is that I was dealing with a huge attack of fear, of remembering the pain, of having details of the heart-wrenching hurt brought into clear focus.
My husband, who is a very wise man, was patient and loving with me. He reminded me of the fact that when I gave birth to each of our beautiful children, I left the pain of childbirth behind in the hospital. As each year rolls around, I don't remember the pain that I experienced. Instead, I focus on the beautiful baby (now amazing adult) that each of our children are. My focus. That was the secret. Where was I looking?
Then, I came to God and His Word. We started out with the way my husband had led me, and God took me even deeper. We came to the story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17. We see that Goliath, this huge giant of a man, came out every day from his Philistine tent and taunted the Israelite army before him. He was almost 10 feet tall and was a massive picture of strength and power. Before the Israelites ever began the battle, they were conquered by the thought of his might and strength. Immediately, I saw that my heartache of the past was just like that. It had grown to giant-sized proportions and become a Goliath to me. Day in and day out, it would call to me. It was constant, unrelentless, And me? I was a cowering, trembling mess, just like those Israelite warriors. They were decked out in their armor, carrying their swords and shields in shaking hands. Oh, there were weapons, but they were uselessly hanging by their sides, chained to them by their fear. They knew they couldn't beat this crazy huge giant before them. It was impossible. And it was ... for them.
David knew however that he couldn't look at things like the Israelite army did. He couldn't see through the lens of the world. He knew where he needed to be looking. I'm the same way. When I look at the massive monster in front of me, if I'm looking at my own power, if I'm looking back to the pain that caused it, then it grows out of proportion to a size that will not allow me to conquer it. But, if I look through the lens of Christ, if I remember back to all the works of God and His hands, if I focus on Him, amazingly that giant before me begins to shrink.
The taunting, screaming words of the pain drop down to a whisper. The piercing heartache becomes a conquerable feeling. And that feeling? It is obvious that it is a lie. Why? Because my God, my I AM is bigger, more powerful, victorious than any giant of a monster out there.
David knew the secret. It was the name of his God that could conquer armies. David had seen deliverance in the past as he shepherded his father's sheep. A lion or a bear would attack the sheep, and David fought it, knowing that his God was fighting for him. Over and over and over again, David had been delivered. As I read, God reminded me of the ways He had delivered me. He had delivered me from the circumstances that caused such grief. He had delivered me from living in the midst of the fear and suffering. I had already been delivered.
To look back, after the deliverance, was just asking for a Goliath. And, sure enough, Goliath showed up. He didn't know it, but his defeat was imminent.
David put on the armor that Saul gave to him. He was going to fight a mighty warrior, and people said he needed the weaponry of the world. It didn't fit. It wouldn't work. It was actually more of a hindrance than a protection. So David took it off. He knew what he needed, and God had already supplied it. It had worked for David in the past with his lions and bears, and because he knew that His God was the One over it all, he knew it would work for him again now. A simple shepherd's sling. 5 smooth stones. And his eyes fixed firmly on his sovereign God.
Me? I had been delivered from the circumstances of the past. I had seen the miracles of God's hands and known of His rescue. The reminder of where I needed to be looking was strong. And what had worked for me in the past? God's precious Word. His phrases, His expressions, His tender mercies in black and white that had wiped away my tears. God's Spirit. His presence that whispered of His love and power to me. I visualized God's Spirit as the hand holding the sling. There was nothing that could conquer me, no giant too big for me with God's hand gripping the weapon.
The huge Goliath was felled with one small stone. It didn't matter how big he was. It didn't matter how many battles he had won before. The brutal words he spouted were of no account. His weapons of steel were powerless. He shrunk down in the presence of the Almighty God, and a rock between the eyes was all it took. When I look at my fears with God's eyes, when I see them as He does, the monster loses its teeth. The claws disappear. And the giant is reduced to nothing.
David wasn't content to just let the pebble do the work though. He knew that very often giants can be resurrected. Maybe the first strike will daze them, but they'll be back. There was to be a death. After God did the initial work with that little rock, David ran towards the big, scary creature lying on the field of battle. Again, David was fearless because he knew who the real Fighter and Warrior was. And, he grabbed the mighty sword of Goliath and cut off his head. Uh, yeah. Even a huge monstrous giant can't come back from that. He killed the fear of Israel.
God tells me to do the same thing. When I've looked through the lens of Christ, when I've had His hand flinging the stone of His Word, when the giant has fallen before me, the job is almost finished. Now, it's my turn. It's time to cut off the head of fear. Isn't it interesting that God has us deliver the final blow? He knows we need to be involved in this battle as well. I'm not to be just a cowering warrior while God fights for me and protects me. I am to be active, involved, fighting with Him when He shouts the call. And how do I do that? By declaring to Whom I belong! By shouting that my I AM is bigger, stronger, mightier and that He will be the victor. By roaring the promises of His Word. By looking with remembrance in the past and present to His deliverance. By trusting Him. By knowing Him. By actively taking those fearful thoughts captive and replacing them with the truth of His Spirit. Oh yes, God has given me all that I need to cut off the head of the writhing, defeated enemy.
And then? David took the armor of Goliath home with him. He took the bloody mess that had covered the giant facing him, and placed it in his tent. Why? To serve as a reminder of God's deliverance. To be a picture to him of what God had done. How can I do this same thing? By writing it down. Spelling it all out in black and white what God has taught me, shown me, delivered me. Telling others, just like I'm telling you now. If I were a painter, I could paint a picture. If I were a carpenter, I could carve a reminder. If I were a mason, I could make a stone tower. Stack those stones and don't forget what God has done. Anything as a remembrance of what He has done..and then revisit it often!
David's triumph just reminds me of the victory I have in Jesus, the ultimate victor. Jesus has already won the greatest battle, and He whispers to me to hang in there, to keep fighting alongside Him, to look to Him as we journey through this life that is most often a great battleground. I've read the book. I know what happens on the last page of the story. Where am I looking? At the giant before me? At the pain of childbirth? Or the precious baby I'm holding? Goliath ain't got nothin'!
** An endnote: thank you to my incredible husband who listened to God's whisper and got this whole ball rolling. Happy birthday to us!
My husband, who is a very wise man, was patient and loving with me. He reminded me of the fact that when I gave birth to each of our beautiful children, I left the pain of childbirth behind in the hospital. As each year rolls around, I don't remember the pain that I experienced. Instead, I focus on the beautiful baby (now amazing adult) that each of our children are. My focus. That was the secret. Where was I looking?
David knew however that he couldn't look at things like the Israelite army did. He couldn't see through the lens of the world. He knew where he needed to be looking. I'm the same way. When I look at the massive monster in front of me, if I'm looking at my own power, if I'm looking back to the pain that caused it, then it grows out of proportion to a size that will not allow me to conquer it. But, if I look through the lens of Christ, if I remember back to all the works of God and His hands, if I focus on Him, amazingly that giant before me begins to shrink.
The taunting, screaming words of the pain drop down to a whisper. The piercing heartache becomes a conquerable feeling. And that feeling? It is obvious that it is a lie. Why? Because my God, my I AM is bigger, more powerful, victorious than any giant of a monster out there.
David knew the secret. It was the name of his God that could conquer armies. David had seen deliverance in the past as he shepherded his father's sheep. A lion or a bear would attack the sheep, and David fought it, knowing that his God was fighting for him. Over and over and over again, David had been delivered. As I read, God reminded me of the ways He had delivered me. He had delivered me from the circumstances that caused such grief. He had delivered me from living in the midst of the fear and suffering. I had already been delivered.
To look back, after the deliverance, was just asking for a Goliath. And, sure enough, Goliath showed up. He didn't know it, but his defeat was imminent.
Me? I had been delivered from the circumstances of the past. I had seen the miracles of God's hands and known of His rescue. The reminder of where I needed to be looking was strong. And what had worked for me in the past? God's precious Word. His phrases, His expressions, His tender mercies in black and white that had wiped away my tears. God's Spirit. His presence that whispered of His love and power to me. I visualized God's Spirit as the hand holding the sling. There was nothing that could conquer me, no giant too big for me with God's hand gripping the weapon.
The huge Goliath was felled with one small stone. It didn't matter how big he was. It didn't matter how many battles he had won before. The brutal words he spouted were of no account. His weapons of steel were powerless. He shrunk down in the presence of the Almighty God, and a rock between the eyes was all it took. When I look at my fears with God's eyes, when I see them as He does, the monster loses its teeth. The claws disappear. And the giant is reduced to nothing.
David wasn't content to just let the pebble do the work though. He knew that very often giants can be resurrected. Maybe the first strike will daze them, but they'll be back. There was to be a death. After God did the initial work with that little rock, David ran towards the big, scary creature lying on the field of battle. Again, David was fearless because he knew who the real Fighter and Warrior was. And, he grabbed the mighty sword of Goliath and cut off his head. Uh, yeah. Even a huge monstrous giant can't come back from that. He killed the fear of Israel.
God tells me to do the same thing. When I've looked through the lens of Christ, when I've had His hand flinging the stone of His Word, when the giant has fallen before me, the job is almost finished. Now, it's my turn. It's time to cut off the head of fear. Isn't it interesting that God has us deliver the final blow? He knows we need to be involved in this battle as well. I'm not to be just a cowering warrior while God fights for me and protects me. I am to be active, involved, fighting with Him when He shouts the call. And how do I do that? By declaring to Whom I belong! By shouting that my I AM is bigger, stronger, mightier and that He will be the victor. By roaring the promises of His Word. By looking with remembrance in the past and present to His deliverance. By trusting Him. By knowing Him. By actively taking those fearful thoughts captive and replacing them with the truth of His Spirit. Oh yes, God has given me all that I need to cut off the head of the writhing, defeated enemy.
David's triumph just reminds me of the victory I have in Jesus, the ultimate victor. Jesus has already won the greatest battle, and He whispers to me to hang in there, to keep fighting alongside Him, to look to Him as we journey through this life that is most often a great battleground. I've read the book. I know what happens on the last page of the story. Where am I looking? At the giant before me? At the pain of childbirth? Or the precious baby I'm holding? Goliath ain't got nothin'!
** An endnote: thank you to my incredible husband who listened to God's whisper and got this whole ball rolling. Happy birthday to us!
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