1. I want to know who the middle-aged, wrinkled woman is who jumps in front of me each morning when I look in the mirror. She seems vaguely familiar, but when I try to get closer to see just exactly who she is, she has this strange ability to make herself blurry. Seriously, she is really starting to get on my nerves.
2. Why is it when my 2-month old grandbaby yawns, everyone smiles and says "how cute", but when I yawn without covering my mouth, my family thinks it's disgusting. "Ewwww, Mom! Cover your mouth!"
3. Sometimes I wish God would pay just a little bit more attention when I'm trying to give Him advice on how to run things. Honestly, I think I have some pretty good ideas.
4. Why do mice and fleas (that nobody likes or wants) seem to multiply exponentially, but money does just the opposite?
5. It has been stated that wearing a shirt with horizontal stripes makes you look heavier. Puhlease! Like if I wore a shirt with vertical stripes, I'd look taller than 5 feet and less round than I already am? Let's be honest. I'd look like a chunky, middle-aged jail cell.
6. Whatever I think always sounds funnier, smarter, etc. than when I actually say it.
7. Just because I occasionally mix my words up and say things like "stooting shar" or "palt and sepper" does NOT mean that I'm losing my mind. Losing the ability to talk distinctly maybe ... but not my mind.
8. My dog thinks I'm wonderful. It would be nice if everyone else shared his same opinion.
9. Note to self: Never lick a steak knife.
10. If God really wanted me to write a blog, He'd give me brilliant ideas for posts instead of ten random thoughts.