I had a sweet friend ask me the other day what she should have done about a specific situation. I had been through something similar, so she was hoping I'd have something brilliant to say about her circumstances. I would have loved to impress her with my intelligence and the perfect answer, but all I knew to say was "Jesus".I think that's the one major thing I learned while I was dealing with my own grief and confusion while I walked through circumstances so like hers. I so desperately wanted to fix it, so frantically wanted to make the pain go away. And I prayed often to that end.
God had other ideas.
So, I did what the only thing was that I could think of to do. Honestly, it wasn't that I was being deeply spiritual or incredibly mature, but I was absolutely and totally broken. There was nothing left in me -- no resources, no strength, no wisdom. I determined to look at Jesus as often as my mind would go there. When I was unsure about something, I'd look to Him ... and pray. When I was fearful about something, I'd look to Him ... and pray. When I was angry, or grieving, or happy, or hopeful, I'd look to Him ... and pray. I would take my eyes off of the pain surrounding me and put them squarely on the Lord before me. It was all I was capable of doing.
My situation wasn't corrected overnight. In fact, it was years before I saw any type of difference in the circumstances around me. But, I noticed something interesting during this journey. As long as I prayed and talked with Jesus about what was going on in my life, as long as I gave Him my fears and trusted His care, as long as I waited for His leading and direction, there were changes in me. No changes around me. No softening of the brokenness around me. But changes in me...
I began to see that His voice was more recognizable to me. I didn't have to question whose voice I was hearing, or what the truth was. I recognized it because Jesus and I had spent so much time together in His Word and in prayer. My soul was hungry, greedily so, to draw closer to Him, to learn more of Him, to be more intimate with Him. And the awesome part? He was just fine with all of that!
I always used to laugh at the Sunday school answer of "Jesus". Ask any of these questions in Sunday school and this would be the scenario: "Who's your best friend? Jesus! What do you want more than anything else in the world? Jesus! What is the answer when you're scared? Jesus!"
But, you know what? All of those answers were true and still very much are. He's not just a Sunday school answer -- not just a pat, routine response. The truth is, He is everything I need, everything I want, everything. Period. The storm around me wasn't quieted ... but I was. The brokenness around me wasn't restored ... but I was. I didn't suddenly have wisdom and know what to do in every bit of the journey ... but I knew someone who did. I didn't have control or knowledge of what was ahead ... but I knew someone who did.
Jesus.
Sunday school answer? Maybe so. But for me, He's the only answer.
God had other ideas.
So, I did what the only thing was that I could think of to do. Honestly, it wasn't that I was being deeply spiritual or incredibly mature, but I was absolutely and totally broken. There was nothing left in me -- no resources, no strength, no wisdom. I determined to look at Jesus as often as my mind would go there. When I was unsure about something, I'd look to Him ... and pray. When I was fearful about something, I'd look to Him ... and pray. When I was angry, or grieving, or happy, or hopeful, I'd look to Him ... and pray. I would take my eyes off of the pain surrounding me and put them squarely on the Lord before me. It was all I was capable of doing.
My situation wasn't corrected overnight. In fact, it was years before I saw any type of difference in the circumstances around me. But, I noticed something interesting during this journey. As long as I prayed and talked with Jesus about what was going on in my life, as long as I gave Him my fears and trusted His care, as long as I waited for His leading and direction, there were changes in me. No changes around me. No softening of the brokenness around me. But changes in me...
I began to see that His voice was more recognizable to me. I didn't have to question whose voice I was hearing, or what the truth was. I recognized it because Jesus and I had spent so much time together in His Word and in prayer. My soul was hungry, greedily so, to draw closer to Him, to learn more of Him, to be more intimate with Him. And the awesome part? He was just fine with all of that!
I always used to laugh at the Sunday school answer of "Jesus". Ask any of these questions in Sunday school and this would be the scenario: "Who's your best friend? Jesus! What do you want more than anything else in the world? Jesus! What is the answer when you're scared? Jesus!"
But, you know what? All of those answers were true and still very much are. He's not just a Sunday school answer -- not just a pat, routine response. The truth is, He is everything I need, everything I want, everything. Period. The storm around me wasn't quieted ... but I was. The brokenness around me wasn't restored ... but I was. I didn't suddenly have wisdom and know what to do in every bit of the journey ... but I knew someone who did. I didn't have control or knowledge of what was ahead ... but I knew someone who did.
Jesus.
Sunday school answer? Maybe so. But for me, He's the only answer.
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