Being Still

Recuperating from surgery causes you to rest and reflect. I'd highly recommend it for everyone ... if only you didn't have to experience surgery. Me? I've discovered I'm not too good at rest ... or sitting still ... or going at a slower pace ... or letting someone else pick up the work load for me. I tend to over-commit ... bite off more than I can chew ... do more than I should, so these last several weeks of chilling and resting have been nice. Not too productive (in my warped sense of what is productive), but nice nonetheless.

Since I'm nearing the end of my "resting" period, I wanted to share with you some of what I've learned/done:
1) I've cleaned out more than half the closets in my house. I did these a little at a time since I'm limited as to what I can lift/push/pull weightwise. But it's nice to be able to actually close some of these closets without worrying what will fall down on me the next time I open the door.

2) I've cleaned out several of my "catch-all" drawers. They're nice and organized. Next time you come to my house, I'll be happy to show them off to you.

3) Our file cabinets are lighter. I threw away income tax receipts from 1999 and the car tag papers that were carefully filed away -- for cars that we no longer owned.

4) Watching six seasons of Lost in 2 1/2 weeks turned my brain to mush. I rewatched every episode, noticed things I hadn't noticed before, and cried at the same things I cried at the first time I watched the TV series. And once I watched all of Lost, I began watching different DVDs that my brother gave to me to pass the time. Yup, TV was my buddy.

5) Noticed MORE differences between my husband and me. He sees a "blue" dress -- I see either a navy blue, royal blue, robin's egg blue, baby blue, aquamarine, periwinkle, marine, dusty blue, etc. On the other hand, he'll see a 2005 blue Mazda 3 ... and I'll just see a little blue car. He cleans a little bit at a time and then is done. Finished. Outta there. It's clean. I'm constantly cleaning, straightening, cleaning again, and it's neverending.

6) Sleep was my nearly constant companion. I'd "work" for a bit and then have to lie down. I'd read a portion of a book and then have to rest. I'd watch some TV and fall asleep. I'd sit up to eat and then have to lie down and recover my energy. Seriously, I spent so much time sleeping that I felt like I would get to the point where I'd be up for several days in a row because I had slept so much. Uhm, yeah -- that didn't happen. My biggest concern is that I've learned to like sleeping in. Sleeping in and going to work will NOT be compatible.

What really stood out to me throughout my recovery time, however, was the fact that it seemed easier to "hear" God than what I normally could. Since I was spending so much time being still, I was shown just how frantic my simple little life had become. I always have to "do" ... and in this instance, I wasn't able to "do". I was forced to just sit and to be still. And boy, does God love to talk when He has your attention!! It was really wonderful to spend such extended periods of time with Him -- in His Word, in prayer. And because I'm who I am -- I spent a lot of time crying as well ... not because of my surgery and recovery, not because I was bored of being still, but because of how God just loved on me, showered His blessings on me through His people and His Word. He also pointed out that the fall is going to be an extra-busy time for me and He gave me this recuperation period so that I would strengthen up and be ready. He's kind of awesome like that.

I'm hoping that I've learned a little bit through this recuperation time -- that I'll regularly take time to "be still and know that He's God", that I'll realize the importance of recharging, that I'll stop to just listen. In ALL things -- even in surgery and recovery, God is teaching ... and I'm learning.